I'm scared and stressed. College is truly looming. October--my last chance to change my life. *Sighs*
Yet I constantly remind myself that I'm truly blessed, even getting the opportunity to be able to worry over my future is awesome. I will not complain. I will conquer. I will remember and keep in my thoughts all those children and people around the world who really can't choose a future-- maybe don't even have one. I will not blow off this year~ What would they do given the opportunities? --seize them and so will I. I will become that doctor. I will become the hope for these people and I will repay the world for the blessings I've luckily (It is luck...and destiny?--No, that's too sad for the people in harsh conditions. What had they done to receive a harsh "destiny?") received. (:))
Before we complain, let's count our blessings.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
School is dominating my life,
Hello. Hello. Well just a quick post. It's sad that I don't have time (well maybe sometimes the time but not the feel) to post much. Last post in the summer. Wait. Yeah, I know. School has dominated my life once again. Kinda. Well school plus all the extracurricular activities.
I'm President of Key Club at my school and well, I'm discovering every meeting that it's truly hard- sorta. I mean, I have experience planning projects and everything, so those aspects do not trouble me, but presiding over/being in charge of a whole club is pretty different. Everyone comes to me for everything, asking the pettiest little question and just getting everything together for a meeting and workday is often time consuming. I love learning to become a better leader and utilizing my leadership skills and traits that I already have, but I figure I still have a ways to go. One of my main problem is not being too serious or critical. I can't seem to be a detached, serious, hardcore strict person and so sometimes no one listens. But I guess being the amiable leader is better, one who is able to connect with other people. I need to learn how to be more strict though, cause that's a part I'm kind of lacking. I must say though I'm blessed that I'm learning and experiencing these things now. Yeah, going from a StuCo Committee Head, YAC Treasurer, and Key Club Secretary to the StuCo Historian, YAC Secretary, and Key Club President is a pretty big shift especially in Key Club. I learned a lot about project planning and executing and even was head of a committee of like 30 people, so I'm not under prepared for Key Club, but it's a whole different dynamic there. Hope my officers get more united as the year progresses cause we need unity. Wish me luck! **Oh and all these years I thought it would be easy to lead a group in a meeting and be the only one talking in the silence... but oh man.. it's pretty touch, esp. when your tongue gets tied up and everyone is just staring at you. HA. Lesson learned. Things always appear/seem easier than what they truly are. I learn something moral everyday. :)
I've always loved to write, especially if it's not graded, and I find that I'm loving it more these days (when I don't have the time--irony and another lesson--craving and loving the things and activities now ever more because you can't do them now..oh man.) The way that a empty piece of paper or computer screen fills with your words-- your own unique assembly of words--that make a coherent and meaningful message has always captivated me. While I type I sometimes tilt my head sideways and see how the letters just seem to appear and fill the page as the words trickles out of my brain. The reason I am writing now is because I don't what to forget anything I am thinking about or feeling. I really don't what to lose that symposium of words to the hidden, dark emptiness of my brain. Sometimes the thing that keeps me up at night is simply thinking. Forming words and sentences that sound really profound and often thinking of innovative and meaningful ideas. The sad part is that in the morning it's all gone-the orchestra of words to the dark parts of my brain-- never to enter out of my brain the same way it had the night before.... how sad. So I try not to think/talk too much (to myself) before going to bed -- because I'll forget in the morning. I want to write about so many topics and issues..I truly do. Remember the previous post where I wrote some topics..I never got around to writing about them.. but I've thought about them and yes at nights, in my brain, I've written about them.. yet now all that is lost in my brain somewhere. No doubt when it does come back again, the words will be different and the ordering so it'll be different, yet the same.
Peace!-- We need more of this in the world today. Oh yeah, we're reading The Things They Carried by Tim O brien, and it reminds you how much war sucks. The killing of humans. I hate war. Period.
I'm President of Key Club at my school and well, I'm discovering every meeting that it's truly hard- sorta. I mean, I have experience planning projects and everything, so those aspects do not trouble me, but presiding over/being in charge of a whole club is pretty different. Everyone comes to me for everything, asking the pettiest little question and just getting everything together for a meeting and workday is often time consuming. I love learning to become a better leader and utilizing my leadership skills and traits that I already have, but I figure I still have a ways to go. One of my main problem is not being too serious or critical. I can't seem to be a detached, serious, hardcore strict person and so sometimes no one listens. But I guess being the amiable leader is better, one who is able to connect with other people. I need to learn how to be more strict though, cause that's a part I'm kind of lacking. I must say though I'm blessed that I'm learning and experiencing these things now. Yeah, going from a StuCo Committee Head, YAC Treasurer, and Key Club Secretary to the StuCo Historian, YAC Secretary, and Key Club President is a pretty big shift especially in Key Club. I learned a lot about project planning and executing and even was head of a committee of like 30 people, so I'm not under prepared for Key Club, but it's a whole different dynamic there. Hope my officers get more united as the year progresses cause we need unity. Wish me luck! **Oh and all these years I thought it would be easy to lead a group in a meeting and be the only one talking in the silence... but oh man.. it's pretty touch, esp. when your tongue gets tied up and everyone is just staring at you. HA. Lesson learned. Things always appear/seem easier than what they truly are. I learn something moral everyday. :)
I've always loved to write, especially if it's not graded, and I find that I'm loving it more these days (when I don't have the time--irony and another lesson--craving and loving the things and activities now ever more because you can't do them now..oh man.) The way that a empty piece of paper or computer screen fills with your words-- your own unique assembly of words--that make a coherent and meaningful message has always captivated me. While I type I sometimes tilt my head sideways and see how the letters just seem to appear and fill the page as the words trickles out of my brain. The reason I am writing now is because I don't what to forget anything I am thinking about or feeling. I really don't what to lose that symposium of words to the hidden, dark emptiness of my brain. Sometimes the thing that keeps me up at night is simply thinking. Forming words and sentences that sound really profound and often thinking of innovative and meaningful ideas. The sad part is that in the morning it's all gone-the orchestra of words to the dark parts of my brain-- never to enter out of my brain the same way it had the night before.... how sad. So I try not to think/talk too much (to myself) before going to bed -- because I'll forget in the morning. I want to write about so many topics and issues..I truly do. Remember the previous post where I wrote some topics..I never got around to writing about them.. but I've thought about them and yes at nights, in my brain, I've written about them.. yet now all that is lost in my brain somewhere. No doubt when it does come back again, the words will be different and the ordering so it'll be different, yet the same.
Peace!-- We need more of this in the world today. Oh yeah, we're reading The Things They Carried by Tim O brien, and it reminds you how much war sucks. The killing of humans. I hate war. Period.
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