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The first semester of Junior year has taught me so many things and aspects about life. I failed my first test in high school, had my first mental breakdown, really almost gave up on myself, was in a slump (-> as in my confidence level [my mom even bought me a self-confidence book? yeah... ]), really tasted what failure was like and most importantly, discovered that college is inevitably on the horizon. Yeah.. what a great first semester, which was like half of the 2010 year. [Sophomore year 2nd semester doesn't really count cause I really didn't struggle in my classes then.] Junior year really slammed me in the face. 4 AP classes. Ehhh, it's not really that bad, considering that many of my friends are taking 5-6 AP classes as Juniors. Not bad.. until I got lazy, and didn't want to do my homework (CHEMISTRY!!! ) Until I gave up on myself. I felt like I was in a huge ditch [of course I dug it though] that I just couldn't get out of. And that's how my first semester ended. Full of failures, it seemed like. [Of course not without its good days/moments, but those are different stories.] I always wanted to write about these feelings on my blog then, but just "didn't have time.."... well more accurately.. didn't make the time. Anyways, writing now [cause school starts late tomorrow!!! MAYBE SNOW DAY!! WHOO HOOO!!] Looking back, I really don't know how I managed to survive that semester. Don't get me wrong I looked forward to English III AP, Chem AP, Spanish AP, and APUSH (:)) before the school started. Excited about the challenges. Until my mindset changed. Soon (oh let's say after 1st six weeks...so 2nd six weeks) life was extremely difficult (in the academic sense..don't get me wrong, I am the lucky one, getting to type in the warmth while millions of other teenagers starve and work long hours. Yes, I'm the lucky one. The one who is given a chance to succeed. A chance to change others' lives.) During the second six weeks, PSAT was in that six weeks, I grew hopeless and had that sense of desperation that no matter what I did, I couldn't do anything; that I wasn't good enough. Ha, Asians aren't suppose to struggle academically right? [Gosh, do I hate stereot
ypes.] Well, boy did I struggle. And because of it and stress, I feel that I really didn't enjoy that semester, didn't notice the bright blue sky or Abbey's (my dog) energetic and optimistic attitude. But now.. I'm different. I feel different. I've learned. Haha.. reminds me of my definition essay from English class .. I wrote about success and failure.~~~~
The winter break really changed everything. I feel that I kind of transformed. No, I still the short, little Asian girl, but I had a different mindset than before it seemed like. I discovered that attitude or "mind stability" seems to be the most important aspect of being successful. When I told myself that if I just tried, I could do it........ I did it. I feel this new year will reap in more successes and if failures happen to block my path, I know now to boldly confront and learn from them. I also discovering to my joy that AMCHS teachers are the best and truly have our backs. For example, when I did extremely terrible on my Chem test, Ms. Jones would pat me on the back and her eyes looked sad, because she knew that I could do better. And this really touched me. And even though I continually got horrible grades in that class for a while, she never gave up on me. She cared. All my teachers care. And this is what will push me this semester. And so it's been my new year resolution to do all my hmwk and really really really try
to make that A that seemed to be a rare occasion; goal: make those A less rare now :DWith this new mindset and the thought that I CAN CONQUER all my goals and dreams, I ventured into the 2011 new year. And guess what? I'm doing pretty well. Got a 100 on my chem test (earned some of my pride back there) and As have become more regular lately. Now I just need to maintain it. Well, I figure that if I maintain this "mind stability," I'm good.
--So this year, I'm not going to be lazy. Not going to make the excuse that I can't do it, cause I CAN. YOU CAN. And as a minor resolution, I will try to post more on this blog. Who knew typing up feelings and thoughts, re-energizes you? Reminds one of the goals? :D I guess that's the power and beauty of writing.
~~ This year, I going to have posts that are like this one... more personal ones. And posts of topics and events that are happening world-wide which are truly inspiring and important. [Sidenote: I feel that we are so ignorant of what's happening in the world. If I don't watch the news or ask my parents, I simply do NOT know what's going on. Like, I haven't heard a SINGLE WORD on the Jasmine Revolution and the Egyptian Revolution that are occurring right now. NOW. We are too oblivious. But then again, ignorance is bliss, right?]
And of course, posts of the books that we read and discuss about in English class. [English discussions are so enlightening and enriching... so deep.] -> oh another resolution.. to find the gut to talk and contribute to English discussions. I mean I love talking and I WANT talk but ... why is it so hard to present my ideas and opinions in class?? *sighs*
Future Posts that I have in mind this year:
* Haiti Earthquake: A Year in Review
* Jasmine Revolution and its start
*Chilean miners miracle
*Grapes of Wrath <- loved it! *Etc!!! Thanks to the late start day tomorrow, I've wrote all this. :D Now, time to study for that physics test tomorrow. (:P) Inspirational Video that helped me get through my slump:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkCFeNeqyHk
~~What are your thoughts? ~~
